Have you ever found yourself becoming something or someone you’re not to save a relationship?
Many times this happens slowly and over time, and we don’t notice the warning signs until we have given up special aspects of our identity and replaced them with the desires that someone else has for us. They have over time sanded a little here, polished a little there, and added some touch up paint on our edges…
What if we didn’t need or want their changes to our unique design? What if they were so “sweet and loving” in their manipulation that they convinced us that these changes were good for us? Or worse, somewhere during the relationship, our thoughts about our self changed and we began to have difficulty seeing our unique design and beauty?
Then we have to fight back with weapons of truth. The manipulative relationship can be a spouse, a parent, a friend, a boss, a sibling, or any one influential in our life.
My best friend shared the following with me during her healing journey into self love….
Some of us take on a persona that people create for us and we don’t even realize it. We then tend to forget who we really are. We lose confidence and gain insecurities and then we are portrayed to others as the toxic, unstable one. This creates a shield for the abuser to always look as if they are the shiny, polished one and you are the crazy one.
If I’ve learned anything in my life, its that I had to be the one to change the situation I so often complained about, a situation that had utterly destroyed me and so unfairly took everything I had left in me. I had to stand up and walk away.
I have slowly gained strength and courage. I have found my worth and value. I’ve learned to love myself and get healthy mind, body and soul for me! Loving yourself is so important and that has been one of my biggest struggles. Saying the words I am important, worthy, loveable and beautiful was like swallowing tiny shards of broken glass. Those were words that never felt authentic and never how I would describe myself. Being beautiful is so much more than vanity. Beauty starts in your soul. It’s how we treat people, its how we love and how we see the good in things that appear broken to others. Be your own bestfriend, value your worth, and love yourself. Never let anyone define you. ❤
~Amanda Redmond ~