One day I asked God, ” Do miracles still happen in the earth? You know the big miracles just like the ones that I read about in the Bible.” God said, “Watch closely, and I’ll show you a miracle bigger than you could ever dream up on your own.”
I grew up and I forgot about my conversation with the Lord. Sometimes adults forget the secrets God whispered to us when we were little.
Life got busy and it was filled with seasons. Some of the seasons were the most beautiful of mountaintops, and others were dark valleys. God held mommy’s hand through every single moment: dark or light, high or low, through mommy’s good choices and even mommy’s poor choices, God never ever ever once left me.
In fact, the Lord kept whispering secrets in my ear. I just had to learn to listen for His voice like I did when I was a little girl.
One day we were talking and He put a special desire in my heart. He told me that there was room in my heart and my home for another baby. He asked me to trust Him to bring me the baby chosen for our family and to trust Him to protect you. It was the beginning of a real life miracle.
I prayed for you. Dreamt of you. Prepared for you. Shared my excitement about you. My miracle was unfolding. The Lord was crafting you. Forming you. Designing your every feature. You were being knitted in a very special mommy’s womb. Your birth mommy was carrying you and the Lord was protecting you as He worked a miracle in the earth.
A miracle He planned at the very beginning of time. As He lay the very foundation of the universe, He was thinking about you and He was thinking about me. He was planning a miracle.
You were born on a most beautiful day. The day must have been beautiful because darling you make everything more beautiful. A miracle had been born.
I didn’t yet know you. You were being held and nurtered and cared for a team of loving nurses. They provided for your every need. They talked to you, fed you, swaddled you, and waited for the news of who would take you home. A miracle was unfolding.
18 days after your birth, my phone rang. A baby girl. Ready for discharge. Are you able to come today? Yes Lord, I desire to be a mommy again. Yes, Lord if this is Your will. Yes, Lord, yes! A miracle was unfolding.
Baby girl snuggling close. Baby girl growing bigger, eyes meeting mine, smiles of recognition. Our hearts are bonding, life is changing, beauty surrounds us. A miracle is unfolding.
Uncertainty of forever looms. Will my baby girl sleep in my arms for much longer? Each tender embrace becomes a moment to savor. How much time has the Lord appointed me to mother you? I pray for a miracle. A big one, a miracle like the ones I’ve only read about in my Bible. The Lord whispered, ” Trust me.”
Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, baby girl growing. Changing. Right before my eyes and ears: smiles turn to giggles and squeals. Home visits, court dates, guardian visits, spring rolls into summer, summer to fall. A date is given. They tell me to prepare.
Finalization is coming. I will be able to breathe in full breaths once more for the first time since I held you all those months ago. I comply with every request. I complete every page. I dot each I, cross each T. Pray over every page. I get cozy with the office fax machine as I send in form after form. A miracle is unfolding.
The morning of our day comes. I have begged the Lord for this day. I have cried out drenched in tears, aching in pain of near loss of you, and wept for His mercy. I have fallen asleep praying for this day. I have awakened and still been in prayer. I have been down on my knees asking the Lord to please please be merciful and perform a mighty miracle.
Lord, please let my baby grow up in my arms. I stand up tall before the judge. We are surrounded by a sea of people who love you immensely. I raise my right hand, and I promise to care for you emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. The judge grants our adoption.
The Lord hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, ” See I told you to watch closely, and I’ll show you a miracle bigger than you could ever dream up on your own.”
CorneliaGrace- You are a mighty miracle and an answered prayer.