Good Morning Gorgeous,
It’s a brand new day. A fresh new start. A new day to rise and thank God for His good and precious plans over your life.
He chose you.
Before the foundation of the earth, you were on His mind. You. On the heart of the Father.
He knew when in history you would be conceived. He had a purpose and a plan for your life. He brought you into life at this time for such a time as this!
He also carefully and masterfully crafted and formed you in your mother’s womb.
The truth of these three verses are what broke the chains of unworthiness off of me.
I have shared before about my struggle with shame and hustling for my worth. Years and years, decades actually of painful perfectionism just to prove myself worthy. Worthy of belonging. Worthy of acceptance. And then it all clicked tonight and I broke down in tears. Like bawling tears, choking back sobs tears.
What triggered the waterfall? And that’s what it was because once it started, I couldn’t hold it back. The dam broke.
I stayed up late to watch a movie with my older kids, an oldie but goodie, Castaway. And as the credits rolled, I picked up my phone to check the time. 1:30am and we have church tomorrow. Ouch.
And there on Facebook Messenger was a message from my cousin.
The message said,
Hi sweet cousin. Thank you for posting about being pro life. I’m so happy you and your babies were chosen to be here. Your life truly makes an impact!
I finally understood something that I am sure originated somewhere in the spiritual realm, but all my life I’ve been hustling to prove my worthiness of life.
That’s it. The tears flowed. It hit hard. Her precious precious message that said, “Hey I see you and I’m really glad you’re alive!” came after 2 days of reading post after post of why women should be able to choose to end their child’s life. And here’s why the floodwaters came at her message.
I have overcome and overcome and overcome. I have never had a victim mentality. Quite the opposite. I was a victor. I was a hard worker. I poured everything I had into covering up any trace of my poverty stricken life. I earned excellent grades. I pleased all my teachers. I accepted no special treatment and never let on that my life was any different than anyone else’s. I excelled in school. It was not easy for me, but I worked hard to prove I was just as worthy as anyone else.
I was a “good girl.” People pleaser. Studied people and learned how to earn praise from teachers, adults, bosses, anyone who would validate me.
Why? Because deep deep down, I knew my life was not like everyone else’s.
And that was a heavy burden of shame that I covered and concealed and made it impossible for anyone who knew me to guess.
Until Jesus! He touched me and healed me and now I share my past not as a victim, but as someone that God chose despite everything that He knew I would have to overcome. He knew how hard my life was going to be, and He still chose me and He planned me.
And so what was I hiding? What was I covering?
I have been hiding and covering many of the societal factors that are being used as pro abortion arguments. The very posts that are being shared on Facebook for why a woman would need an abortion describe me. I am the child that was conceived in dire circumstances and grew up in less than ideal conditions. Yet, my God chose me and my mom partnered with Him and His plans. God authors life, and we get the honor of carrying it within our wombs as He knits and forms and fashions. What an honor and privilege given to women only.
Here are the many strikes against me and I have seen every one show up this week on social media as a reason to support ending a baby’s life.
I was conceived when my mom was a troubled teenager.
My dad was physically abusive before, during, and after her pregnancy.
He was a heroin addict.
We were homeless. Literally lived in the park…
Abuse was daily.
My grandpa brought me lunch everyday in the park.
My grandparents took care of me any chance they were allowed to by my father. And at times, I lived with them. They stepped up to help raise me. My grandma was my first spiritual mother.
Police were no help to abused women in the early 80s.
I live in Florida and most of my family lives in California because my mom and I had to flee the state when I was seven for our safety.
On social media this week, the arguments for abortion have been poverty, child abuse, absent fathers, teenage pregnancy, government support, and how hard it will be for single moms.
I am every one of those factors. Would you tell me that I am unworthy to live? That I am not worth meeting a scared young mom in her darkest hour and giving her more options than abortion.
Everytime someone argues for abortion because of how terrible the child’s life will be, they are speaking about my beginning and the beginning of many others.
Yet. They have forgotten a very important part… a challenging life filled with trauma doesn’t make that person’s life any less sacred.
You see it took me about 35 years to finally let Jesus teach me that! About 5 years ago, He began to reveal to me that my life was just as sacred as those I had tried to prove myself to my whole life.
That whether I was born in wedlock or out, whether I was born to two parents or one, whether I was abused or not, whether I witnessed crime and drug use or not, whether I had grown up in poverty or not.
When it came to right to live, those factors didn’t matter to Jesus.
My life had divine purpose simply because God authored it. Period.
And the foster care argument hits pretty hard too. That without abortion, foster care will be overloaded. I have adopted three precious children from foster care. When you use that argument, you say their lives are less than valuable. They are optional.
I literally pray with my children EVERY single night when I tuck them in out loud so they can hear, “Dear Lord, thank you for my precious child. Thank you for choosing me to be their mom. I am so thankful for them and the perfect way you designed them and placed us together. IN Jesus’s Name, Amen.”
They hear how desired and purposed they were by God every night. I want that to be so secure in their hearts that when the world tries to tell them otherwise, they will know the truth. That God calls us worthy. No ones else gets to choose whether we are worthy to live based on our circumstances that we had no control over.
We didn’t choose the circumstances surrounding our birth story, so there’s no shame in our beginnings, only triumph in our ending.
And then there’s these precious babies whose heartbeats are being ended by a physician and dismantled and suctioned out of the womb to which God had entrusted them.
These babies were chosen and planned by God. He welcomes every one of them back into heaven. We will meet them.
And I will speak up for them. I am not here to please man or woman. I am here to please the One who authored my life. I will work for Him and Him alone. He broke my people pleasing so that I could speak up and speak out for His Kingdom. I will not be silent to please and earn my worth from people.
I will partner with the truth of scripture. And before each major move of God in the Bible, the enemy slaughtered babies. Moses was born at such a time. Jesus was born at such a time. When you see babies being murdered, the enemy is after God’s plans.
Children are very precious to Jesus. And what is precious to Jesus, satan is always out to steal, kill, and destroy.
But we see that God’s plans prevail and triumph every time!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the overturning of Roe v Wade. This is victory in the spiritual realm. There are babies that will be born that satan tried to take out because he is afraid of the promise on their life. There will be babies born that will rise up as prayer warriors, kingdom warriors, lights in a dark world, babies that will carry the Presence of God in their generation. Babies that will speak truth in the last days and win souls for the Kingdom of Light. Babies that will literally crush the works of the devil by the Power of Jesus. These babies that will be saved from abortion will move in mighty ways as assigned by Jesus. They have divine assignments on their lives. Lord, please open the eyes and hearts of men and women all over the world to see the atrocity of killing their unborn descendents. Lord, move them to repentance and healing. Lord, comfort hurting women and open up the eyes of people, companies, non profits, churches, and government to meet women’s needs in a real and tangible way so that they feel loved, safe, and supported so they can carry their children and receive what they need. Lord, provide solutions to the needs of women and heal our families and our land. In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
Blessings and Love,
And if you came across this post and you haven’t yet accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, may I encourage you that by choosing Him you receive eternal life in heaven, BUT ALSO abundant life NOW. Following Him is the most precious adventure you have ever taken!! All you have to do to get started is to pray and receive Him as Lord. The Bible says to confess Jesus Christ as Lord and believe with your heart the precious gospel message that Jesus taught. Repent of your sins which means simply to ask Jesus to forgive you and then choose to walk away from them and go in the New Direction that God is calling you to. Confess or speak that you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who died for you, that He was resurrected from the dead, and ascended to heaven. And that you recieve Him as your Lord and Savior. That you are sorry for your sins and you recieve His FULL and complete forgiveness for every wrong you’ve ever committed. And that you are choosing to follow Him now and leave the ways of the world behind for the things of Jesus!!! And if you mean that with your heart, you are saved and set free to live a new life free of sin! The Bible says you are now a brand new creation! Old things have passed away and new things have come!!! The Bible also says that all of heaven rejoices whenever a person is saved!!!! Just imagine the party being held in heaven on your behalf right now!!!
12 thoughts on “The One Facebook Message that Made me Break Down and Weep”
My dear friend, you’re one of the best moms that I know! Sure you struggle sometimes (we all do). But you are open about your struggles and you face them head-on. Your example is an inspiration to me as I am sure it is equally inspiring for anyone who knows you!
Thank you so much my friend!! Vulnerable and honest and leaning on Jesus is how He gets the glory!
Little sister I am so proud of you for how you have let Jesus help you overcome, and so many other reasons- you are a good mom, you are a good teacher, so many things Jesus has helped you to become.
Thank you Matt!!!
Enjoy reading your post, first off too many are judging others for me as a Christian Pastor I am for pro-choice, I am also a rape victim at the young age of seven and then as a teenager. My father rape me after my mother died I Praise God that I never got pregnant with the situation of today I would have carried my father’s child (my own sibling) that is so wrong it took my over forty years to stop blaming myself I did nothing wrong. The problem is that the white people especially the white man are scared that in so many years their were more people of color than themselves, that is what is going on. Same-sex marriage I understand that one more today, my own daughter was a conjoin twin, she has two sets of DNA in her, she is truly not male or female to me she will always be my daughter, and yes she had genetic testing more than once. As Christian let us stop judging in the book of Micah 6:8 it tells us, act justly, love mercy, and walk humble with our God. We will never lead another to Christ if all we do is point our finger and judge, it will be through love, something I preach on this morning.
Thank you for sharing these vulnerable parts of your testimony!! There is so much hurt all around and we look to Jesus to restore, redeem, and set us free. I agree about not pointing fingers and judging others. I have a great compassion in my heart for women, all women. And I believe Jesus sees us all just like He saw Hagar and met her in her darkest hour. He loves women and He desires to heal us and set us free to live out a powerful destiny that glorifies Him!!! Thank you Eileen for your words today!
Eileen, I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you deeply touched me and I am so thankful that we can share and connect on here!.
So am I, I do hope and pray we can leave a better world for all of our children
Thank you for sharing your testimony Vanessa!❤️Your post gives hope and points to Jesus. May God use it touch hearts and lives that may need these words…at such a time.
Thank you Alicia!!!
Thank you Vanessa and thank you Eileen for sharing your stories. You are wonderful testimonies of the purposes and transformative, resurrection power of Jesus.