I still trust You Jesus

The Lord met me in my hour of pain.
He showed up when I had to will myself to breathe.

I was ministering to a homeless camp. The power of God was beginning to move in my life in tangible ways.
And then in an instant, I felt searing pain.
Deep loss. Overwhelming feelings of fear and vulnerability.

My Maxwell, our dog, who ministered right alongside of us ran straight into traffic and I ran into three lanes of ongoing traffic to save him.

I wasn’t able to save him. But God protected me completely. The whole world felt frozen.
I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to go back in time e even 2 minutes. I wanted to change the awful chain of events.  I cried out loud deep agonizing wails of pain. I was ushered into an ambulance because the grief was so deep.

And the enemy immediately began to sow doubt. “How could this happen while serving the Lord? How about that verse, no weapon shall prosper? Where was God in this?”

I knew better than to take the bait. But I was so scared. We drove away from the homeless camp without a member of our family.

I went home and laid on my face before the Lord and sobbed and sobbed and mustered the following words, “I still trust You.” For days I would repeat that with tears pouring down my face. “I trust You. I trust You. I trust You.”

And the Lord showed up again and again again. He sent prayer warriors..He comforted in a way only HE can. Friends showed up with food and we grieved together.


I went through a healing season. BUT I will not shrink back in fear. I will keep preaching the Word. I will keep delivering people from demonic oppression by the Authority of Jesus Christ. I will keep trusting His Word. I will keep sharing my testimony. I will keep loving on the lost.

And today, the Lord allowed me to preach to children at my church. It was the most precious healing thing to hold a microphone and lift up the Name of Jesus with children hugging me and worshipping.

And as I reflect on His goodness, His healing, His restoratiom, my sweet Junior is laying at my feet. Junior is Maxwell’s brother who was born the same weekend my Maxie passed.

When I look at Junior, I see the restorative, redemptive Hand of God in ALL things.

If you are struggling today. The answer is in these four words. “I trust You Jesus.”

Junior! My sweet gift from Jesus after deep pain and loss..

2 thoughts on “I still trust You Jesus

  1. What a good looking boy.❤️

    Tough words to read here, Vanessa, but I love how you’ve shared the way God worked out His redemptive power over the enemy’s schemes.
    I’m curious if you guys still volunteer at the homeless camp, if I remember right I thought they ended up having to leave that area.

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