Good Morning Gorgeous,

It’s a brand new day, a fresh new start.

And the Lord’s mercies are NEW everyday!

I have leaned into the Lord this morning as I grieve the loss of my tiny hurricane survivor friend.

The afternoon after Hurricane Milton passed, my mom came with a tiny barn rat that she rescued.

He was like just born. He was the only survivor from the litter in her barn and her barn cat was trying to get it.

I, being an animal lover, couldn’t stand the thought of not giving it a chance at survival, so I took on the task of caring for him.  This involved feeding him every hour and then every 2 hours. We named him Milton after the hurricane. 

He thrived for about a week and then experienced a decline in weight and started having trouble breathing. I called our exotic vet that I trust,  but they don’t treat rats that young. And since he was a wild pest that is not a native animal, the local rescue could only offer euthanasia. 

I gave him comfort care at the end of his little 8 day life, and he passed away last night.

I felt all the feels of loss, blaming myself and thinking if I had done this or that differently, he might have made it.

Even though he was a barn rat that most consider a pest , to face death like that after caring for him literally around the clock hurts.

I love deep. I feel things deeply. My compassion and empathy runs high. And I was raised to care for animals. It was passed from my grandpa, to my mom, to me, and now I see the traits in my children. We are compassionate toward to animal kingdom and really toward anyone in need of care.

Why do I share all of this?

Because after coming out of hurricane prep and then hurricane cleanup, upside down schedules, and just the general stresses of life along with my little rat’s death, I felt the darkness trying to press in last night. 

I felt empty.

I felt weary.

I felt the shaking of the storms of life.

I felt the burdens weighing and my mind ATTEMPTED to take me to dark places.

Places of blame, places of could’ve, should’ve, and places where you start to curse yourself with negative speech like I can’t do this. It’s too hard. It’s all my fault.

But despite how AWFUL I FELT, I knew exactly how to get myself OUT.

I hugged my husband after a good cry and releasing some of those negative thoughts and I said to him. “I feel the darkness, but I know how to fight. I’ll be fine.”

This morning in my prayer time,  I felt so weak and so tired and just poured it all out before the Lord. I went back to FULL surrender. And my prayer sounded something like this:

Dear Lord,

Here I am. I am weak today. I need You.  I’m sad today. You made me with this huge heart that loves deeply and today it’s grieving. I hate death. I hate it Papa. Come and help me to process this and to glorify YOU. May every part of my life bring You honor.  I surrender afresh to the molding and shaping. Come and cleanse me afresh this morning of every iniquity. Come and rebuke what is necessary because I know you discipline those you love. I submit myself to the fullness of Your plan, and I ask that you shape me, mold me, and have YOUR way. I trust where You’re taking me. And I rebuke the lies of the enemy.

I may be sad, but the JOY of the Lord is my strength. 

I may feel weary and weak, but in my weakness YOU are strong. 

I may feel scared, but Your perfect love casts out all fear.

I receive this Morning Lord! I receive everything I need from you!

In Jesus’s Name, Amen.

And the PEACE and COMFORT flooded in!

This is one of the ways He loves on His children. Supernatural comfort and peace and strength comes rushing in the middle of the struggles of life.

Being a follower of Jesus Christ doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments where my feelings try to take over. I still grieve. I still feel deep pain and loss. I still have moments where a negative thought tries to get me to partner with it and take me on a  train ride down to the miry pit of self sabotage.

The DIFFERENCE NOW is the swift exposure of the lies to the light. I see with renewed eyes, and I can recognize the lies pretty quickly and take them to prayer.

I know the strategies to pull myself out! I can throw myself a lifeline and grab ahold and get OUT of the pit.

Here’s how!

1. Speaking the TRUTH out loud. Speak Bible verses &  promises of God out loud to your soul. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. God is my strength when I am weak. I am following the Lord all the way to victory.
2. PRAY and start with magnifying the Lord. You are good. You are for me. You will heal me. I trust You.
3. Keep going. Get up. Shower. Take care of the small things and be in prayer the whole time doing steps 1 and 2 as you engage with the day.
4. Tell someone! Message a HOLY Spirit filled friend and tell them you’re hurting.
5. Allow space to grieve while monitoring your thoughts. Any negative thoughts that make you feel stuck, scared, or hopeless need to be captured and made obedient to Christ.   Give yourself space to be sad, but don’t allow any bullies in your head to speak. That’s where the grieving takes a turn to self blame, wallowing in self pity, and overall deep darkness. It’s okay to say I am sad. I am hurting. I feel overwhelmed.  But the moment you hear things like, “You’re a mess. You’re always messing up. You can’t do anything.  You’ll always feel like this. You’re going to be depressed forever. Etc” It’s time to start capturing those thoughts and NOT entertaining them.
6. Your emotions are NOT in charge of you. You can take dominion over them. And not allow them to lead you around.  I feel sad, but I will not let sadness dictate whether or not I will pray, worship, do all the things I need to do today.

In my book, Surviving the Midnight Hour, I  share 12 biblical strategies to stand firm through trial with examples, stories, scriptures, and prayers.

Surviving the Midnight Hour on Amazon

Dear Friend who is feeling big emotions today, you’re gonna make it through! The sun will shine again! You are in process, and the Lord will use everything surrendered to HIM to grow you, mold you, strengthen you, and prepare you for the next part of your destiny!

I feel at peace tonight. The heaviness has lifted. I know I did the best I could for Milton, my baby rat.

And if I ever get another opportunity to save a baby rat, I will do it again!

Blessings!

Vanessa