Anyone else out there having circular conversations with God?

Good Morning Gorgeous,

It’s a brand new day. A fresh start. Another chance to take a bold step toward your promised land. It may be speaking to God the bold prayer that keeps getting lodged in your throat. It may be an intimidating phone call. It may be a decision you’ve been putting off. Your next brave, audacious step is waiting for you to rise up, breathe in the morning air, let the sun kiss your cheeks and just do it. Boldly, bravely, courageously saying yes when fear screams no.

That’s exactly where our story turns next in Exodus. The baby Moses is all grown up and through a few twists and turns, he is not living in Egypt anymore. Yet, the Israelite Nation is still there and still living under extreme oppression as slaves. Moses is out tending to his Father in Law’s flocks in what appears to be a normal day for him. You could day he was just carrying on with business as usual. He probably got up that morning and slipped into his regular routine, not knowing that on this very day, he was going to speak to God Himself! If he knew that ahead of time, would he have prepared himself any differently? Would we do something different if we knew ahead of time that we were about to encounter God?

Anyway, he is simply out in the field, when he sees a bush that doesn’t burn up. He gets closer and God begins to speak to him! He is afraid to look, but he can hear God and God tells him to remove his sandals for this is holy ground. Moses obeys and then God and Moses proceed to have a conversation that is strikingly similar to the conversation many of you have already had with God. I know I have had this same conversation with God time and time again and all too often the conversation is just as circular as Moses’s and God’s during this encounter.

First off, God reveals Himself to Moses. He clearly tells him who He is and He definitely doesn’t beat around the bush, even though He is speaking from one. He says I AM WHO I AM! He also tells Moses that He is the same God of his ancestors Abraham, Jacob, and Joseph. He wants Moses to know that He is the SAME miracle working God then that He is now. Then, He proceeds to tell Moses that He has heard the cries of His people, the Israelites. That He is going to save them from the Egyptians and give them a land flowing with milk and honey. He then outlines His entire plan to Moses including the role that He has been assigned to deliver the people. He needs to tell his fellow Israelites and then he needs to talk to the Pharoah on behalf of the people. Moses is NOT sold on God’s plan. It is BIG, BOLD, SCARY, and could never ever be done without the help of GOD. Isn’t that just like how God calls us today. He asks us to do bold scary things that we could ONLY accomplish with His help. And so often our response is just like Moses.. What if they don’t believe me?

God responds to Moses’s question with a list of signs and wonders that God would use to prove to the people and Pharoah that he was indeed working on God’s behalf. Moses replied to God’s answer with more excuses…. What about my issues?

He goes on a rant about how he doesn’t speak well, he gets tongue tied. He’s not qualified to do the job that God is asking of him…..sound familiar? I know I have done the same thing. I have given God a long list of my deficits and why He shouldn’t call me to do what He is asking.

And then comes Moses’s final response!

“Please just pick someone else!” You can feel the tension building between Moses and God. And at this final response from Moses, God gets angry with him. Yet, being the merciful and loving and ever so patient God that He is, He relents and gives Moses a partner to do the speaking part. He tells Moses to take his brother Aaron along to help him.

As I read this story this morning, I was catapulted back to a time when God asked me to follow a God sized dream of mine at what seemed to be the most unlikely of times. I felt completely unprepared, unequipped, and unable to do what He was asking. Yet, He was persistent and very clear. He told me to open my home and heart back up as a foster mommy. In my eyes, I couldn’t be less qualified for the job. I was newly single with two young children, living in a 2nd floor apartment, and I felt totally exposed and vulnerable. In my eyes, I wasn’t ready on so many levels. I wasn’t ready for the probing questions and the intense scrutiny a home study would involve. I wasn’t ready to lay my heart out at such a vulnerable time. I wasn’t this. I wasn’t that. Yet, God was persistent with me just as He was with Moses. He wouldn’t let up. I gave every excuse including, “You picked wrong girl. Pick anyone, but me!”

Yet, I boldly obeyed, and with my heart pounding in my chest, I took the very first step in obedience. For me, it was a phone call to Childrens Network to begin the foster care licensing process. That was 4 years ago, and I have adopted 3 babies since then!

This picture is from the first week my baby boys came to our home. What if I would have said no to God instead of yes? Where would they be? Where would I be? We may never know the blessings we miss when we say no to the call of God… These sons of mine are 2 of Gods greatest mercies and blessings to me!

That is ONLY God. God’s equipping. God’s signs and wonders. God’s being patient with my long list of I cants.

I wish I could share with you that since then I now listen obediently as soon as God puts things in my heart. But, I still find myself in the same circular conversations with God. “What if they don’t believe me? What about my issues and my faults and my problems? And lastly, pick anyone but me!”

Gorgeous Girl,

God is calling you. Yes you. Not someone else. Not another person to do the job He has called you to. He is not calling someone else to live out the dream that He has lovingly placed on your heart. He is calling YOU to your promised land. And He will perform miracles and wonders to get you there. He will equip you and enable you to do things that you previously thought impossible. He will send helpers along the way when needed. And He will be patient with you when you give Him a list of reasons why He should count you out. But when you get serious and your desire for milk and honey is greater than the safety of your current oppression, you will say yes to God. And when you say yes, He will equip you every scary step from where you are all the way to where you’re going!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your relentless love for us and your continual calling us to our destiny despite us digging in our heels with fear. Thank you that Your perfect love casts out all fear. Lord, strengthen us for the bold dreams and wild destinies ahead. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

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