A Heavy Momma Heart: Part 1

Good Morning Gorgeous,

It’s a brand new day. A fresh start. I almost always write first thing in the morning, but my heart is grieving. I am mourning like so many of you over the events happening around our nation. I am writing this in the evening as I process the hurts happening across our nation.

As I write this, my precious daughter is sleeping next to me. She falls asleep safely right next to me every night. She has been pretty much attached to me literally since I brought her home from the hospital at 18 days old. I wore her on my chest until she no longer fit in the baby carrier, and then I wore her even a little longer!

There she is safely tucked right next to my heart.

She fills a space in my momma heart that I didn’t even know was there. She and I just absolutely adore eachother. She holds me close and she leans into my chest and she trusts me completely and totally trusts me. And she can trust me to protect her and care for her as long as I have breath. I would lay my life down for her.

But there are certain hurts of this world that are becoming hard to ignore, and I am grieving that there may be a day I cannot shield her from someone else’s evil belief system..

I thought we had come so much farther than this. I naively thought that she would never have to face any hurt or judgement based on her absolutely beautiful dark skin. When I see my baby girl, I see perfection. I see my heart outside of my body. I see a treasure to behold. I see God’s grace. She is three years old and I still tell God everyday, “Thank you for my baby girl.”

She is so wanted, so desired, so loved. So treasured. I could go on and on describing my precious princess to you. And she knows no pain right now. She knows no hurt. She knows only love.

My deepest desire is to keep it that way for her. That we would somehow grow as a nation and a globe past the evils of racism and see eachother for who we are: God’s Masterpieces.

When you look into another’s eyes, you are looking at the artwork of the Father. Every human is formed in the image of God. Every human is a beautiful color. Every human is valuable and oh so very, very worthy. Jesus broke every single barrier . He crushed through the barrier of gender, age, socioeconomic status, and race. He elevated and breathed identity into those who He encountered and He is still doing that today. Every person is living, walking masterpiece by the same Artist who hung every star and set the planets into motion. Who are we to decide the worth of another? God already named us worthy. Period. Worthy. All humans. Worthy. A treasure. God dreamed of each of us. Planned us, formed us, and brought us into the world for a purpose and destiny. Each and EVERY HUMAN is a Preplanned Child of the living God.

As a people who are all formed in the image of God, we HAVE to repent. We have to turn from our wicked ways. We have to be willing to bring our heart to the Father every single day and say, “Create in me a Pure Heart. Search me and know me.”

We have to repent of any previous generations lies that may be trying to attach to us. Repent of wrong thinking. Repent of wrong doing. Repent and turn to the Father for a fresh infusion of His love every single day.

We also have to listen. Open our ears and our spirits to hear the voices of others who are hurting or have experienced injustice. Be willing to sit and grieve the pain and the truth that someone else is sharing with us.

And as believers our response must look markedly different than the world’s response. Everything a believer does should reflect Christ who lives in Him. You cannot be walking closely with Jesus, and actively seeking His ways and act in ways that are counter to His kingdom. We are under His kingship, and He shook every area of culture that was counter kingdom life. He went after and broke down the prejudice against gender, age, socioeconomic status, and race. He showed us how to truly love our neighbor as our self. And He is to be our example.

We cannot look to our parents on this one. We cannot look to our friends. We cannot search social media. We can only look at the example of Christ. And then ask Holy Spirit to come and remove this division and hurt from the hearts of people. We have to love HARDER!!!!!

If every Christian, rose up every day and put their feet to the ground and asked Jesus to help them love others harder than ever before, even more than yesterday. If every believer moved in the earth like Jesus, we would experience radical revival and radical healing.

I don’t mean to oversimplify a very layered problem, but Jesus is the solution to every problem we face in the earth. He is the One who can change the hearts of men and women. He is the One who can heal every hurt and restore our lands. He is the One who can remove the lies passed down from generation to generation that keep people believing wrongly. He is the One who can shepherd us into ALL truth. He is the One who can split the sea, turn the tide, and bring us to a new level of revelation.

And can I share a little hope amidst all the sad reports? I attend a church that demonstrates what kingdom loving and living looks like in the earth. It is so beautiful and diverse. It is multigenerational and all ages from children to the elders are honored, respected, and looked to for their gifts and talents. It is multicultural with people speaking a wide variety of languages from a wide variety of places. It is also multi racial. There are skin tones in wide varieties and the families reflect Jesus. There are couples who have different skin tones than eachother. There are mommies who have different skin colors than their babies. And it is so so so beautiful. The people are gorgeous individually, and when I see us all in worship together, I feel like I am getting a tiny glimpse into what heaven is like. People of all nations worshipping Jesus together as one.

I share about my church because it CAN be done. The dream of us all living in unity is one to chase after. And I want more than acceptance. I dream that we truly elevate, honor, and serve each other humbly and in love. That we see racial differences as proof that we serve Creator God who loves to be creative. Each varying skin tone represents the loving Hands of our Creator!

My prayer is that our nation would experience supernatural growth in kingdom principles and quickly overcome these racial divides that are hurting people. Racism is an evil that desires to kill, steal, and destroy. And we can’t be okay with it laying dormant either. It must be removed at the root and replaced with Christ’s love. Love covers all things.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Come in radical, mighty ways bringing heavy doses of Your love. Bringing heaven’s agenda to earth. Casting the big ugly mountain of racism right into the sea! Lord, remove every wrong thought and purify our hearts. Heal our land. Heal our nation. Heal our people. Draw the hearts of men and women back to you so that we can learn to see with Your eyes. Help us to Learn to hear others with Your ears. Help us to Learn to love others with Your heart.

In Jesus’s name, Amen.

As I wrote this, so many more things stirred in my spirit so I am calling it part 1. I love you all and I beg you to turn to Jesus and ask Him to heal us for our children’s future. Let racism end once and for all. Let this NOT be their inheritance…

11 thoughts on “A Heavy Momma Heart: Part 1

  1. My beautiful friend,

    I grieve along with you. You are so blessed to have that beautiful little lady in your life. The pictures that you shared of her, make me smile. I can see her sassy side & her loving side. What a treasure she is.


  2. Beautiful post little sister. I love it so much when your little girl says hi during our blogger chats. She is precious and so cute. 🙂

    I an sharing your post today.

  3. This statement: “And as believers our response must look markedly different than the world’s response.” Is exactly what I needed today. In times likes these, I find I do expect more from others (including those who do not know the Lord)

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