Story Saturday Post #4: Desires of your Heart

Good Morning Gorgeous,

It’s a brand new day! A fresh new start!

All things are becoming NEW!

TODAY is the 6 year anniversary of Nia’s ADOPTION day!!!

So story Saturday will be something I wrote right before her adoption was finalized.

One day I asked God, ” Do miracles still happen in the earth? You know the big miracles just like the ones that I read about in the Bible.”

God said, “Watch closely, and I’ll show you a miracle bigger than you could ever dream up on your own.”

I grew up and I forgot about my conversation with the Lord. Sometimes adults forget the secrets God whispered to us when we were little.

Life got busy and it was filled with seasons. Some of the seasons were the most beautiful of mountaintops, and others were dark valleys. God held mommy’s hand through every single moment: dark or light, high or low, through mommy’s good choices and even mommy’s poor choices, God never ever ever once left me. In fact, the Lord kept whispering secrets in my ear. I just had to learn to listen for His voice like I did when I was a little girl.

One day we were talking and He put a special desire in my heart. He told me that there was room in my heart and my home for another baby. He asked me to trust Him to bring me the baby chosen for our family and to trust Him to protect you. It was the beginning of a real life miracle.

I prayed for you. Dreamt of you. Prepared for you. Shared my excitement about you. My miracle was unfolding.

The Lord was crafting you. Forming you. Designing your every feature. You were being knitted in a very special mommy’s womb. Your birth mommy was carrying you and the Lord was protecting you as He worked a miracle in the earth.

A miracle He planned at the very beginning of time. As He lay the very foundation of the universe, He was thinking about you and He was thinking about me. He was planning a miracle.

You were born on a most beautiful day. The day must have been beautiful because darling you make everything more beautiful. A miracle had been born.

I didn’t yet know you. You were being held and nurtered and cared for a team of loving nurses. They provided for your every need. They talked to you, fed you, swaddled you, and waited for the news of who would take you home. A miracle was unfolding.

18 days after your birth, my phone rang. A baby girl. Ready for discharge. Are you able to come today? Yes Lord, I desire to be a mommy again. Yes, Lord if this is Your will. Yes, Lord, yes! A miracle was unfolding.

Baby girl snuggling close. Baby girl growing bigger, eyes meeting mine, smiles of recognition. Our hearts are bonding, life is changing, beauty surrounds us. A miracle is unfolding.

Uncertainty of forever looms. Will my baby girl sleep in my arms for much longer? Each tender embrace becomes a moment to savor. How much time has the Lord appointed me to mother you? I pray for a miracle. A big one, a miracle like the ones I’ve only read about in my Bible. The Lord whispered,  ” Trust me.”

Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, baby girl growing. Changing. Right before my eyes and ears: smiles turn to giggles and squeals. Home visits, court dates, guardian visits, spring rolls into summer, summer to fall.

A date is given. They tell me to prepare. Finalization is coming. I will be able to breathe in full breaths once more for the first time since I held you all those months ago. I comply with every request. I complete every page. I dot each I, cross each T. Pray over every page. I get cozy with the office fax machine as I send in form after form. A miracle is unfolding.

The morning of our day comes. I have begged the Lord for this day. I have cried out drenched in tears, aching in pain of near loss of you, and wept for His mercy. I have fallen asleep praying for this day. I have awakened and still been in prayer. I have been down on my knees asking the Lord to please please be merciful and perform a mighty miracle. Lord, please let my baby grow up in my arms.

I stand up tall before the judge. I promise to care for you emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually. He grants our adoption. The Lord hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, ” See I told you to watch closely, and I’ll show you a miracle bigger than you could ever dream up on your own.”

Cornelia Grace- You are a mighty miracle.

Is there a desire so deep within you that it feels like it’s part of the fabric of your being?

A desire that is woven into you and you couldn’t separate from it even if you tried?

A desire that is pure and part of your make up may have been knit right into you even in the womb!

The Bible says that the Lord planned you before the very foundation of the earth.

It also says that He fashioned and formed you in the womb.

And that He has plans for you. A will for your life that is goooood!

And! As you draw near to God, He draws near to you. As you seek after Him first, He gives you the desires of your heart.

These are not worldly pleasures or status or any desire that is counter to the plans of God or the ways of God, BUT the desires of your heart that He gives are the desires that are pure and part of your God given destiny.

What dream have you layed down because life happened?

What God given desire has been placed on hold because you can’t find a way to make it happen?

If you can’t think of a dream or a God given desire, ask God to remind you like He did me. Ask Him to revive EVERY plan He has for you!

Then, Seek

Seek

Seek Him!

He will draw near to you and set your feet on solid paths that lead to destiny!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Set us back on the path that leads to the destiny you have for those who have found themselves far from their destiny. Set their feet back on solid ground and revive Your plans for them like dry bones coming alive in a desert! Remind them of the desires You’ve woven into them, and give them a holy boldness to say yes afresh to You!

In Jesus’s Name,

Amen

Blessings and revived hope in your God given desires!

Vanessa Lynn

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One thought on “Story Saturday Post #4: Desires of your Heart

  1. Oh my heart…literally goosebumps as I read this. Loved your faith and hope testimony in this. Absolutely beautiful! And beautiful family photos as well! Congrats to six years, Vanessa!!

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