Today marks 4 years since I stood before the judge, my village, and a crowd of others who were also finalizing their adoptions that day, and I breathed in a full lung filling breath.
I believe that from the moment my youngest daughter was placed in my arms at 17 days old to the moment the judge granted me the full right to be her mother, I didn’t fully breathe in a full breath. There was a continual, constant, endless “what if” I battled daily. Yet, again and again I received a fresh measure of peace from Christ.
I would pray, recieve peace, and then shortly after my mind would race, my heart would pound, my stomach would ache, and I would find myself on my knees again begging for Christ’s mercy.
Sound dramatic? Meet the daily reality of foster care. And the only way I survived being a foster mother was through the very strength and peace given to me again and again by a merciful Lord.
He knew how the story would end. He knew the plans He had and He knew that the destiny He had for us. But I had to walk it out in faith and trust with no guarantee if I would be my daughter’s mother for a day, a week, a month, year, or for life. And that’s what I signed up for, yes. But to live it out daily with a baby in your arms is a new level of strength that was not my own. It was Christ alone.
I have written about her miracle before. Here are those posts. It’s a miraculous story of God’s power, might, provision, and love.
Today, I pause to remember that season. A season of leaning 100 percent on God for the outcome. A season of being completely unable to control how it turned out, but instead learning to lean FULLY on the One who was in control. I learned to flee to Jesus over and over again. I learned to take every worry and every stress and every fear and offer it up in prayers of Thanksgiving and petition.
It was a season of intense spiritual growth as I clung onto Christ to carry me daily.
And when I pause to remember, I am filled with gratitude. I am filled with awe at how God wrote the story. I am overcome with Joy and humbled that when God was writing her destiny and mine, He placed us together.
If you are waiting on a miracle or a mighty move from God, may this encourage you that we serve a God who is truly involved, active, and cares about our story from the beginning to the end. He is the author and finisher of our faith. AND He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I am awestruck by Your Ways. They are beyond human comprehension.. You told us that Your ways were higher than ours. Let us remember that when things in life get difficult, when uncertainty arises, when we don’t yet know how our story will end, when we don’t have the answer yet, when we haven’t seen the miracle yet. Let us remember that You are working all things for our good. Even the things that the enemy means for harm, You are turning for good for those who love You..Thank You Lord for saving us, redeeming us, restoring us, and writing the most amazing story with our submitted lives.
In Jesus’s Name, Amen.
Here are some pictures from her special day that made us officially and legally her family.
All adoption day photos were taken by Polly Bloom Photography
And precious Nia today…